Dear Bride Lady:
My finance and I are having a hard
time deciding where to have our wedding. Neither of us are
regular members of a church and we don't want to 'rent a
church'. We live in a small town that doesn't have large
hotels or banquet halls. Neither of our parents homes would be
large enough and we don't want to try to have an outdoor
wedding so we are stuck. If you have any ideas or unusual
places let us know. KIM
Dear Kim:
You may "think" you are
stuck but indeed, there may be some daylight at the end of the
tunnel which you had not thought about. Most small towns have
one of more of the following which would certainly need to be
checked out. Places of Public Domain, such as school
gymnasium's and a Town Hall are usually much more accessible
in small towns than in large cities. Other places to try for
instance: VFW Post, American Legion Post, K of C, Moose Lodge,
Fairgrounds, Skating Rink, Movie Theatre Lobby, Large
Conference Room, or rent a barn and fix it up and have a pig
roast.
One other option to seriously
consider is how far away you are from a larger town or city
that would have hotels or banquet facilities. Most guests,
these days, do not mind driving a reasonable distance to
attend the wedding of people they know.
THE BRIDE LADY
Mary Riner Churchman
Dear Bride Lady,
I
want to get my bridesmaids dresses from a department store
like Macy's or Bloomingdale's rather than the typical dress you
find in a bridal salon. I have been in enough weddings to
realize how much money is spent on bridesmaids dresses never
to be worn again because they are too impractical. I would
rather buy a formal cocktail dress that they get future wear
out of. Should I look for dresses now or wait until next year?
Thanks - Terri
Hi Terri:
Nice to hear from you! Concerning
your Bridesmaids dresses, some of my answer would be dependent
on HOW MANY BRIDESMAIDS you are having. If you are having more
than three, then ordering from a shop would probably be wise
due to sizing, ordering and availability.
While I do agree with you that many
dresses are impractical to wear again and finding a cocktail
dress for the girls to wear at the wedding is much more
practical, I think, if I were you, even though it is risky, I
would wait until next year. After all, sometimes sizes change
and if the date is to far off, they may not be returnable.
OTHER OPTIONS... My only other
suggestion and one that many Brides are doing now, is to pick
a color for each girl to wear and select the length and just
HOW formal. Then, have each girl find a cocktail dress or
evening gown she likes, and even though they are all
different, the effect can be and is quite stunning. Even, if
they all wear black, the differences can be quite effective..
That way, they all have a dress or gown that they like and
will wear again. Try, giving each Bridesmaid a pastel shade to
pick from and then you would or could end up with more of a
rainbow effect since you are marrying in the summer. There
flowers can reflect the shades of all of the dresses or just
focus in on the color each Bridesmaid is wearing. Either way,
it is a stunning effect and one that your guests probably have
not seen before.
It is very nice of you to be so
considerate! BEST OF LUCK!
THE BRIDE LADY
Mary Riner Churchman
Dear Bride Lady,
Do we need to have our
"legal" ceremony in the same state where we have our
religious ceremony? What are the rules?
Dear Laura:
Regarding your question about
"legal" ceremony and religious ceremony, I have to
reply with a "you'll have to check your state out".
Unfortunately, the rules vary from state to state and I can
tell you some are very different than others. You should also
check with the officiating clergyman or JP or Judge as their
jurisdiction also changes in different parts of the country.
THE BRIDE LADY
Mary Riner Churchman
Dear Bride Lady,
Now, I have a dilemma. I don't want
to have all my time spent preparing food for my reception. As
well, I don't want all my relatives putting too much work into
it because most of them won't be invited to the wedding. We
are only having about 40 people at the wedding and 320 at the
reception (invited that is).
The reception is extremely casual and
I want to 'snack' 320 people...not feed 320 people. The party
will last from 7pm-midnight. 1) What is the least expectable
to spend per person on food? 2) What are the pros and cons for
a caterer? 3) How many people should I tell the caterer I need
to feed?
Frustrated in Texas
Dear "Frustrated in Texas"
I should think that the best way to
solve your problem of not having everyone spend to much time
preparing all that food and still keep your costs within
reason would be to contact your local deli.
Just make sure you tell them or a
caterer how long the reception will last. As far as head count
is concerned -- take the figure of those who have responded in
the affirmative and subtract 30%. That figure always comes out
with plenty of food for all.
As far as what is the least
acceptable amount to spend on food per person, I would say
that that question basically cannot be answered. It all
depends on who's preparing the food, whether you purchased the
food wholesale or whether you are using the most expensive
caterer in town or if your relatives are preparing everything.
As for the pros and cons of a caterer: a caterer is more
expensive but they do all the work and leave you and your
relatives and friends free to have fun and not worry. The
flip-side of the coin is that they are obviously more
expensive than if you and all your relatives did all the work.
Best of Luck
THE BRIDE LADY
Mary Riner Churchman
Hi Bride Lady!
We are getting married in Jamaica. I need
some help in wording our invitations. We want to invite our
family and friends, but we do not want them to feel obligated
to come since this will be quite costly. How should we word
our invitations? Also, our travel agent has offered a
reduction in price for everyone if we can get a group to book
through them. How do I let my guests know this (i.e. by
newsletter)? Do I send out a newsletter first, stating our
intentions of getting married in Jamaica and through this
travel agency and then send a formal invitation or what?!? We
want to give our guests as much time as possible to start
saving for this event.
Thanks for any help you can give us
:)
Elizabeth and Brian
Hi Elizabeth and Brian,
Expecting guests to pay for and
attend a wedding in Jamaica is, well, a long long ways to go.
Your idea of a newsletter is not out of line but you should
definitely know how many people a "group" consists
of should any friends or relatives want to know the cost of
such an adventure. The newsletter should be sent first, but I
would only send something like that out to people whom you
honestly think might be able to or want to attend.
Your wording on the invitations
should read the same as any invitations but of course, should
include in its address that it is indeed in Jamaica.
THE BRIDE LADY
Mary Riner Churchman
Dear Bride Lady,
I'm getting ready to plan my wedding
and I have been looking at Bride magazines to get ideas. I
wear glasses and I have never seen a Bride in glasses. I want
to wear my glasses so that I can see everything clearly on my
big day, but I also want to look beautiful. Do you have any
suggestions? Thanks, Kim
Dear Kim:
I know just how you feel!!! If you
have not checked out the possibility of contact lenses, maybe
that would be feasible. It certainly would solve ALL of your
problems. However, there are many who just cannot wear them so
here are a few options for you to consider.
1) Don't wear your glasses walking
down the aisle and then the pictures taken at that time would
be more the way you want them. And do consider
"reflection" in the camera lenses can also be a
problem. Then, when you reached the end of the aisle and your
back will probably be to your guests anyway, have your mother
or father hand you your glasses. To be unable to see during
your own ceremony would not be wise.
2) Wear your veil over your face and
your glasses would not show to any extent.
3) Follow #1 procedure for formal
pictures at the church and such things as the cutting of the
cake and the first dance. AFTER THAT: Put them on and WEAR
THEM so you can thoroughly your own wedding. Walking around in
a "FOG" during your reception is something you might
regret later.
THE BRIDE LADY
Mary Riner Churchman
Dear Bride Lady,
I am having an outdoor wedding and
expect 300 guests. My problem is the seating arrangements for
the ceremony. The garden where we are holding the ceremony
will fit 300 chairs but I'm afraid it will look overwhelming.
My mother suggested a "garden wedding" style where
half of the guests sit and the rest stand. Is this acceptable?
Dear Robin,
Asking 300 guests to stand (except
for the elderly, your parents, grandparents and handicapped)
could be acceptable DEPENDING on HOW LONG THE CEREMONY IS!!!!
If the ceremony is going to be longer than 15 - 20 minutes
long, this would unacceptable. If it's hot and women are
wearing heels, this time could seem like an eternity.
Most guests would prefer to feel a
bit overwhelmed at the number of chairs than to be left
standing. If you decide to keep them standing, I would suggest
that a little printed note be enclosed in your invitation
telling them of such an arrangement so they will know what to
expect. To do less for your guests is not considerate and I
think you are being considerate of them or you would not have
written to me.
THE BRIDE LADY
Mary Riner Churchman
Dear Bride Lady,
I have read a few suggestions to use
fresh fruit and flowers as centerpieces at the reception. I
really like this idea but I am doing my own decorating and I
have never seen any pictures or heard any specific suggestions
on how this is done tastefully. Can you elaborate on this idea
for me? - Melissa, Provo UT
Dear Melissa,
Using fresh flowers and fruit has
become quite popular. It is a great idea. If I were you, I
would consult with a local florist as to their ideas on such.
They may just have some pictures. However, since you are doing
this yourself and the florist might not be very cooperative,
try your local arts and craft store.
Good Luck,
THE BRIDE LADY
Mary Riner Churchman
Dear Bride Lady,
We are doing an out-of-town wedding.
Who are we responsible for paying for accommodations? Do the
wedding party traditionally pay for their own rooms?
All guests and wedding party are
responsible for their own accommodations UNLESS the Bride and
Groom or their parents have specified otherwise. Do be
considerate of your own wedding party as to whether or not
this would place a financial burden on them.
THE BRIDE LADY
Mary Riner Churchman
Hi Bride Lady,
In the mean time, I just bought
a house. I'm having a problem figuring out how to plan my
housewarming party. I would like to register for it but there
really aren't any guidelines to follow except those for bridal
registry. In addition, some stores only have a bridal registry
and I don't want people to think they're buying me wedding
gifts when they print out the registry meant to be used for
the housewarming. Any ideas?
Bridal Registries are only for
Weddings. I too feel your family and friends would be
"put out" if you registered "housewarming"
gifts at such a registry. Let me suggest that you put the word
out through your mother, relatives and friends as to some of
the items you would like to have for a
"housewarming."
THE BRIDE LADY
Mary Riner Churchman
Dear Bride Lady,
I am getting married next year to a
wonderful man. I have seen many articles and such that he
should spend approx. two months salary on my ring. I was
wondering if there is any sort of tradition on the purchase of
the grooms ring? Or is it the same tradition? My next question
is in regards to the fact that I am marrying in Las Vegas. I
have photographer that I worked for years ago and I really
loved his work. I would like him to photograph my wedding
however, he lives in the bay Area (CA) if I ask him to
photograph my wedding do I have to fly him to Las Vegas and
back?? I am just leery of using one of the cheap chapels
photographers for the biggest day of my life...any thoughts on
this?? Thank you, Rachel.
Dear Rachel,
You are correct in the fact that
"THEY SAY" an approximate 2 months salary should be
spent on the ring. That can also apply to the groom's ring if
you choose to apply the thought. However, if you do not have
that kind of money, then such a application is untrue.
Spending what you CAN afford is a much better plan.
You would and should PAY for your
photographer to make a trip, at your request, as you would any
other professional. Just because you worked for him does not
negate paying his expenses. Of course, if he declines, then
that is his affair --- but you offered.
THE BRIDE LADY
Mary Riner Churchman
